Well, here I am again: one week and one day later, blogging again. As I prepared to write about the wonderful, well deserved hot epson salts bath I treated myself with yesterday, after a very busy day cleaning, packing, and planning for the holiday, I realized that I had “accepted the challenge” in last week’s blog and promised to blog once a week. And here it was, the first week, and I failed. Yesterday it was due.
I was so busy, and actually achieving my intention of being “serenely focused” while accomplishing household tasks, that I forgot (in spite of reminders set on my phone) to blog. Of course, I immediately began with old thought patterns “How embarrassing, the first week!? How can people trust you if you can’t keep your promise right away? They will laugh at your arrogance, your lack of self-discipline.” I’ve worked so hard to develop new, more compassionate ways of thinking, so these thoughts were followed by “OK, so you are a day late, that isn’t the end of the world. You had other priorities yesterday, perhaps you can write about shifting priorities. You really should work in the value of self-care. It was so good that you were able to accomplish so much yesterday AND take care of yourself: you walked, meditated, and rewarded yourself with that exquisite hot soak, yoga, and cool sparkly nail polish on your toes”.
Over and over I hear the parents I help share this kind of “all or nothing” judgmental thinking I started with: “I didn’t do it 100% and I am a failure (not even “I failed” but “I AM a failure” . I realized I want to talk about how yes, we need goals, and we achieve them by practicing. Practicing a new habit or skill means a lot of “failures” and persisting anyway. The newest research shows that “Grit”: persisting in spite of hardships and mistakes is what is most important in success. So, I soothed by judgmental mind with compassionate thoughts and sat down to write. I hope you also can be kinder to yourself today.