As we approach the holiday of love, my mind goes to the transforming experiences of my husband’s and my expanding love for each other when we chose to grow our family: first our daughter and then, (who knew we had too much love for just one more??) our twin boys. (Kids, “too much information” warning, if you come across this and want to stop reading now, I understand!)
As we have discussed in many talks and workshops for expectant parents, I was ready to become a parent much sooner than Andy. After his journey to resolve ambivalence (another story) “come back ready” we were more than ready to become parents! Here’s the unanticipated side effect: our sex life went from satisfying to phenomenal.
Each and every time we “made love” we were possibly MAKING LOVE– another human being! The intimacy of sharing and pleasuring each other took on a depth and richness which is difficult to describe. . . like seeing the real Monet rather than than the copy the paint bar is using for you to copy, or tasting a perfectly ripe peach on a warm summer day when you are just a little thirsty, or achieving that “sweet spot” of the perfectly seasoned and prepared meal you’ve cooked hundreds of times before.
Each encounter might be THE beginning of our child . . . each occasion had the excitement and mystery of possibility. The passionate connection was spiritual, awesome. I don’t know if EVERY intimacy during our conception journeys was an out of the ball park experience. In fact, I can confidently say that they weren’t (we are after all, fairly anxious and human) but I do remember that time period being extremely magical and loving.
I was absolutely certain I knew the moment when our daughter was conceived, and was devastated when I began experiencing the usual “PMS” symptoms on New Year’s day and the next day, my birthday. I was miserable, I had a cold, I didn’t feel well, and I couldn’t believe that I had been wrong. I wasn’t pregnant after all.
A week later Andy and I were sharing tears of joy and excitement that “PMS” was early pregnancy hormones: she was there all along. As you enjoy this stage of your life, I wish for you the depth and breadth of an endless source of love each and every time you “Make Love”.