The MomSource - Proactive Solutions for Postpartum Families

A Canadian study found that babies who were cuddled “skin to skin” with the baby’s bare chest to the mom were more responsive to social cues earlier than is typical. Dr. Ann Bigelow, from St. Francis Xavier University, studied over 100 mother-infant pairs in Nova Scotia. In an interview with Scientific American,   she also reported that mothers who practiced skin to skin contact experienced less postpartum depression. In her study it was found that when mothers cuddled infants on their chest for six hours daily, their babies engaged in “social bidding” of mothers earlier. I have long recommended “wearing your baby” in a sling or baby carrier, particularly during those fussy times (i.e. “the witching hour” of 5:00pm) or with colicky babies . . . this goes further with “skin to skin” contact.  I would love to hear from you who have experience giving this “kangaroo care”.

Sleep! How new parents long for it . . . that blessed restoration of a complete, uninterrupted, sound night’s sleep.  It is THE most consistent challenge of caring for a baby: most babies require feedings at frequent intervals throughout the night as well as the day. I assure Moms and Dads that their exhaustion, irritability, forgetfulness, and difficulty focusing is frequently directly related to this reality: they have experienced many disruptions to their normal cycles of sleep, often not just for weeks, but for months. I remind them that repeatedly interrupting sleep has been used with prisoners as a torture method!

While there are many books and solutions available, I have found that each family is unique and work with each family to develop the routines and methods which work for both the parents and their babies. These include good sleep hygiene for both parents and babies, developing a schedule so each parent gets some respite, and several “Go to Sleep” techniques I have found to be useful over the years. I would love to hear about your sleep challenges and solutions.

Sleep tight . . .

This week I participated in two celebrations which once again made me think about the strong connections between joy and loss, between holding and letting go. The first celebration was the occasion of my twin sons’ fourteenth birthday, the second was a beautiful wedding of our friends’ daughter. On my sons’ birthday, I took the day off to be with them and a couple of friends, accepting that my changing role with them is to be available from a greater distance, as they now seek connection from a widening circle. At their birth fourteen years ago I was their world, constantly providing nourishment, safety and comfort. Quickly that expanded to include their father, sister, grandparents, and many other loving caretakers and later, teachers and coaches. We have provided, as well as we could, all of the physical, emotional, and mental support and stimulation we could imagine they needed. Now, they seek more from their friends and are relying on themselves and less from me and their father. I celebrate their growing independence, and as I let go, remember they still need me-just in a different way. Weddings, like births, are among the “highs” in life: beautiful and powerful symbols of our hope.

We celebrate the promise of love. Love doesn’t prevent sad and tragic events but makes them bearable. Love enriches our lives with the joy of sharing. Yesterday we witnessed the young couple sign their marriage contract promising to look to each other for love and support forever after. Then the two mothers of the couple broke plates, a powerful symbol of their changing roles. No longer are the mothers responsible for feeding these young people-they now have each other to depend upon. We celebrate. . . and we let go.

The MomSource is about helping women be proactive in planning for support and preventing post partum adjustment difficulties. Our planning benefits greatly from the current research on understanding how post partum problems develop and how we can best treat problems when they occur. The more we know about families’ needs, the better we can develop programming to meet those needs. I was thrilled to come across this study that Dr. Sapana Patel and Dr. Katherine Wisner are conducting and hope you’ll consider adding your voice to this body of knowledge.

Information about this survey
The following survey is part of a research study designed to understanding the treatment decision making process for women with depression during pregnancy and after birth. You must be of childbearing age, 18-44 years of age, and either pregnant or have recently given birth to complete the survey. Your participation is voluntary; you may stop the survey at any time. The survey is anonymous; no identifying information will be obtained from you, your responses will not be traceable back to you and no attempts will be made to re-contact you. It may take up to 15 minutes to complete all of the questions. Please click the URL to connect with this survey: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/BL5CXCZ

The need for “a break” can be as range from a simple “I need to get up and stretch” to “I desperately need to get away for at least two weeks”, and encompasses many other points on that continuum. My recent vacation fell into the latter category, and I’m delighted to report that it provided exactly the nourishment and rejuvenation I needed.

I believe that throughout our lives, we are able to appreciate “now” much better if we periodically and consistently “take a break”. Daily, time to be alone even for five minutes and breathe. After the birth of a baby, we are so often so consumed with caring for the baby that we can lose touch with the real need for our bodies to take a break. Yet even in this demanding environment we can practice listening to our bodies, and taking a break when we need it, (even if it means locking ourselves in the bathroom!). Weekly, it would be ideal if you can allow yourself an hour or two to be alone and just breathe, walk, or engage in any activity where you can be totally and completely present. Monthly, dare I be so bold as to suggest 4-8 hours to yourself? And then there are vacations, invaluable time and space to rejuvenate, recuperate, and be restored to a balanced place.

We need time away from our daily routines in order to gain perspective. On those great, longer vacations, we can spend time with our spouses and with our children individually as well as a group, and really take the time to both listen and play in a different way than when we are pulled into our usual chores and communities. These breaks don’t have to be expensive trips, just time dedicated to a different routine. Sometimes the biggest hurdle is giving ourselves permission to do so.

So, go ahead, give yourself a break!

As my baby girl prepares to graduate from high school in a couple of weeks, I’m once again struck by the ephemeral nature of life with children. Was it really almost 18 years ago that she entered our hearts and lives? Last night I overheard my husband so accurately reflect on this process. He compared our current need to be in the moment to that babyhood time. He said something like this: “Remember how you are so grateful and happy with the baby, but so busy with taking care of her and feeling overwhelmed that you forget to enjoy it until after? Right now, we are so busy, but we need to remember this and allow ourselves to enjoy this time.” New Moms and Dads often hear this advice, because we older Moms and Dads can’t resist giving it, and I know it can feel unempathetic when you are fighting exhaustion. However, when you can steal those moments just to soak up the newly bathed baby smell, to feel the nice heft of the bundle in your lap, and to smile back into those bright eyes, those moments give again and again.

Yes, one can have the symptoms of anxiety, problems sleeping, flashbacks, avoiding reminders of the event, and other symptoms of PTSD after giving birth. Last week I was invited by Amy Schroder, Hartford Hospital’s Parenting Education Coordinator, to attend the Professor Cheryl Beck’s presentation on her research in this area. Doctor Beck has researched Post Partum Disorders for many years and her presentation focused upon her recent research into the qualitative themes of birth trauma stories. Those who were traumatized experienced from the health care team a lack of caring or empathy, communication, adequate care, and attention to the process as well as the goal. It was encouraging that Hartford Hospital is attending to this reality-that birth experiences can be traumatizing, and seeking to implement policies to help prevent the pain of emotional trauma.

Dr. Deepak Chopra and Dr. David Simon, with Vicki Abrams exceeded my dream reading of a pregnancy and childbirth book that is supportive, nurturing, and infinitely practical in their book

A Holistic Guide To Pregnancy and Childbirth: Magical Beginnings, Enchanted Lives

Halfway through the book, I had to stop to call two clients and say “You would really enjoy this book”.

Numerous books explore the physical and even psychological changes which occur during pregnancy and childbirth. This book is the first I’ve read that even touches upon the changes in parents’ souls during this magical time of transformation.

In short, I love this book! The language is poetic, the ideas are practical, reassuring, and balanced. The authors integrate Ayurvedic and Western medical concepts in a seamless fashion, describing the miracle of life and the nurturing connection of mother and baby from conception through birth, and don’t forget the father!

More than any other pregnancy or parenting book which I’ve read, they are compassionate and supportiive of each individual family’s choices-not presenting in a moralistic “this way is the only way” but with an encouraging and supportive tone.

The emphasis upon the loving attention to the baby, mother, and father, is precisely what the MomSource seeks to provide for families. . .through information, resources, support, and support referrals.

A Holistic Guide To Pregnancy and Childbirth: Magical Beginnings, Enchanted Lives

Increasing Joy: Planning for Life “After Baby”

The transformation from “couple” to “family” has often been anticipated and planned for, yet new parents may be astounded by the intensity of these changes.  If you are expecting to be new parents, support can help you manage the stressful challenges of a newborn so you may cherish the joyful moments. A “helpnet” of your circle of family and friends can be critical in providing this support.

On November 5th Dr.  Thomason spoke at Hartford Hospital’s Blue Back Square location about planning for help after baby comes home.  Twenty five parents and parents-to-be attended and learned about how to plan and ease the transformation of your family.  One lucky couple won a free individual 90 minute consultation with Dr. Thomason to develop their customized plan for “after baby”.  Scheduling before the baby is born can benefit your entire family.

Call (860) 331-1750 to find out how Dr. Thomason can help develop your helpnet!

Dr. Thomason will be speaking at Hartford Hospital’s Blue Back Square location on November 5th at 7:00pm. The topic will be Increasing Joy: Planning for Life “After Baby”.  Call (860) 545-1888 for more information or to register.

The transformation from “couple” to “family” has often been anticipated and planned for some time, and yet new parents may be astounded by the intensity of these changes.

As mothers recover from the physical and emotional demands of giving birth and fathers attempt to both support their wives and be “Dad”, the demands of newborns can feel overwhelming. If you are expecting to be new parents, support can help you manage the stressful challenges of a newborn so that you may cherish the joyful moments.

A “helpnet” of your circle of family and friends can be critical in providing this support. Dr. Sharon Thomason will speak about planning for help after baby comes home: the who, what, when, and where of assistance to ease this transformation. We will also discuss concrete considerations for nurturing your family: increasing your joy, decreasing your stress.